I received some much-need, peaceful closure yesterday on an issue that was weighing heavy on my heart and mind. I'm slowly learning the difference between 'tears of grief' and 'tears of catharsis'. I much prefer the latter. Let the healing continue.
This morning, I was up at the crack o' dawn to kiss my sweetie and see him off on another adventure in 'the life of a cinematographer'. This will be the third weekend in a row that he's been out of state on my non-working days. (Yes, I'm whining.) My work life has been a bit more intense lately, so I cherish the evenings and weekends we can spend together. Part of me hopes that this project wraps quickly so that we can squeeze in some ocean-time before the summer ends. The other part of me is living vicariously and loves to hear about his travels and projects too much to want them to end.
But solitude is good for me. I started to find that traveling out of state for shows or auditions forced me to be okay with being alone. Coming from a large family, having children at a young age, and consistently being in relationships meant that I always had some form of companion. Being on my own was something I never thought I was 'good at doing'. Turns out, it's just another state of being.
I've probably posted this before - in part or in whole - but it came across my radar again and made for a good morning meditation.
"In this world, it is very difficult to find a happy person, because nobody is fulfilling the conditions for being happy. The first condition is that one has to drop all comparison. Drop all these stupid ideas of being superior and inferior. You are neither superior nor inferior. You are simply yourself! There exists no one like you, no one with whom you can be compared. Then, suddenly, you are at home..."
Find your happy. Then chase it down and beat it with a stick until it submits.
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